Confessions

I let my potty training toddler go naked most of the day. Not only does this cut down on a crucial, timesaving step when it’s time to go potty, but it also almost eliminates his mark on my laundry load.

I let Sam drink from warm bottles.

I purposely tell my kids to clean up their rooms knowing that they will then play as nicely and quietly as they can to not bring attention to the fact that they are disobeying me.

Sam gets upset when I sweep the floor because I’m eliminating a crucial element of his dietary sustenance (I let him eat off the floor).

I don’t let my kids dress themselves when we go out because I care what others think of me.

I tell my kids that mommy is ‘working’ when I am reading the news or blogging on the computer.

My kids often have string cheese and apples for lunch because they can get it themselves.

I will often dress in baggy knit pants and a comfy T-shirt, then wear it to bed that night and then again the next day. Again, this dramatically cuts down on my laundry loads.

I believe that Hawaiian pizza and a milkshake covers all 4 food groups and is then, in fact, a healthy meal.

I rub spit up into the carpet with my sock.

I do cry over spilled milk.

I will take a binky from my toddler’s mouth and give it to the baby.

My 6 and 7 year olds have BB guns, throwing knives and are getting bows and arrows for Christmas.

My 3 year old still calls the baby “Baby Wham” and I think it’s cute.

I have let my kids help themselves to cupcakes for breakfast so that I can sleep a few minutes longer.

The real purpose of these confessions is that I hope my mom will read them and immediately make a plane reservation to come out here and take ‘proper care of these poor babies!’