Things I Never Knew About Raising Boys

1. Sending a boy outside to eat with the dog when they repeatedly burp at the dinner table does not cure belching. It encourages it.

2. All bodily functions are hysterical.

3. You can clip a Lightsaber to a diaper. Actually, you can clip FOUR Lightsabers to a diaper.

4. A boys' ability to hear is directionaly proportional to what they are being told. But maybe that's not just a "boy" thing....

5. Trucks, I knew about... airplanes, guns, superheros, forts, tanks, guns, spit, knives, farts... I had NO idea about.

6. When told to sit still, a boy will actually vibrate.

7. If you want a toilet flushed, you'll have to flush it yourself.

8. "Vomit face toe curd earwax breath" is a compliment.

9. There are 742 ways to sit on a couch.

And the most surprising thing I've found about raising boys, is that

10. I prefer camping trips and shoot em up movies to exotic vacations and chick flicks and a bouquet of dandelions clutched in a dirty fist is more precious than a dozen long stemmed roses.