Quotes from this past year

It's been well over a year since I've been on here, and truth be told, it may be another year until I post again.
"What's so hard about posting?" you ask? Well, it's been a very busy year, we moved, Ben started homeschooling, Brett got a promotion, I started decorating....
Ok, ok, I can't do it. It's Facebook! I joined Facebook and all other priorities (i.e. my blog and showering) have been thrown to the wayside. I'm sorry. Mea Culpa!

Here are some of my status updates from Facebook from the past year:

7 year old Will pointing at 3 crosses on the side of the road: "Look mom! It's the cross where Jesus was crucified!" 9 year old Josh: "Will, Jesus was crucified in Israel....(thoughtfully)...or was it Miami?"

‎7 year old William: "Mom! There's a deluge of mosquitos outside!"
Me: " 'Deluge'?? Wow Will, you sound very intelligent."
Will: "What's 'intelligent'?"

Last night at dinner, Will leans over and says "Mommy, you are so pretty you should be on a Christmas card". I stared at him for a minute, quietly went to the kitchen and got his birthday cake. I took his fork and stuck it in the middle of the cake, placed it in front of him and said "I have nothing left to teach you. Have at it kid."


Yesterday at lunch, Sam (3) picks up his string cheese, brings it up in front of his face and starts to stare it down. He sighs heavily and states "Yets do this" and takes a bite. After a minute or so he exclaims "Hmm..tastes yike chicken!" I'm staring at this kid utterly confused when Josh comes over and says "He's been watching Survivorman".

Sam's outfit for church last Sunday: Favorite shirt pulled from the bottom of the dirty laundry pile, swimming trunks, 1 tennis shoe/no sock, 1 crock/wrong foot. This was discovered, along with maple syrup all over his face and hands, a mile from church. I believe my last words to Brett were "Make sure they're all presentable".

Will: "Mom, why do people have to pay for speeding tickets when the police give them out for free?"

"I like dirt. It tastes just like sausage." Sam, age 3

Having a "Sixteen Candles" sort of day. If anyone out there cares at all about Brett, you might want to give him a call and let him know he FORGOT HIS WIFE'S BIRTHDAY!!!
(Update later that day): We were rushed getting ready for church this morning so I was flustered when I got in the car. Brett told me to do my 'combat breathing' : Slowly inhale for 4sec, hold for 4sec, release for 4sec. It's supposed to calm you in "under fire" situations. Later at chruch, one of the boys finally realized it was my birthday and told Brett. When I looked over at him, he had this "I'm dead" look on his face and I said "Start your Combat Breathing dear."

Please explain to me what possesses boys to fill their waterguns with urine??

Just got back from meeting Brett in town for lunch. As we were leaving, he got a call and had to run to his car, jump in and speed off. The boys all stared in total wonderment. Then Will whispers "I've never seen a real police car with my REAL dad (as opposed to his many stepdads????) speed away to help someone". Then as if on cue, all four boys stared jumping around an howling like wolves!