OK, for all you moms out there, young and old, go get yourself a glass of juice, tea or milk (I’d say champagne, but c’mon, who are we kidding?) and have a seat. I know it’s not Mother’s Day, but frankly I’m feeling a bit jipped that we get one stinking day out of the year.
So, I would like to raise a glass in honor of all moms who have run across a room to catch vomit in your bare hand in order to save the upholstery on the new couch, rubbed spit up into the carpet with your sock and opted for a spritz of Febreeze on your shirt to cover up the urine smell from your infant’s diaper change.
To those that have cleaned toothpaste off the walls because your 5 year old wanted to see if jumping on the tube would make the flip top open, and yogurt off the ceiling on the one stinking day you decide the kids can fend for themselves for breakfast while you sleep in.
To every mom that has looked into the face of a sniffling little girl and had to endure “You hurt my feelings”, and the fearful face a boy who declares, “I didn’t do it, but you should come quickly, the fire is spreading”.
To anyone who has stuck a pacifier in their mouth to get the worst of the lint and dirt off before putting it back in their baby’s mouth and those who have declared to a room full of adults to please excuse me but I have to go ‘potty’.
For those who have rejoiced at the P.A. announcement of a found child at Walmart because now you know where they are and can continue shopping in peace and those that have threatened the very lives of your children through clenched teeth and plastered smile.
To anyone (else) that has fallen into a puddle of tears when they looked into the cab of a stranger’s truck to see their diapered toddler who was supposed to be napping and anyone who has rolled their eyes at a screaming child and tell them to calm down only to find out their arm is, indeed, broken,
To all of us who have not slept in 8 months due to pregnancy woes and midnight feedings, 8 years because of nightmares and thunder or 18 years because of, well, teenagers.
I would like to raise a glass and salute us all.
Cheers!
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3 comments:
so ... which of your toddlers was supposed to be napping?
I love your salute to Moms. Do you ever look back and wonder how your own mother did it!
It was Ben of course. Our neighbor's father-in-law saw him walking down the road in a diaper carrying his puppy with a binky in his mouth. He drove up our driveway and asked if it was our kid in his car. I said certainly not, all my kids are accounted for...then I looked in the cab.
Looking back now, I wonder how any of us actually make it to adulthood!! No wonder the guardian angels of children often see the face of God! "I'm sorry to bother you Sir, but the Corbett kids are up to it again, can you spare a Legion this time???"
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