A Relative Dimension of Time

The science of physics will tell you that time is a measurable unit which moves at a fixed rate. To say that time is relative, would be to turn society as we know it upside down and inside out.
However, the evidence of the existence of another dimension of time is irrefutable to even the greatest of skeptics when the following mathematical equation is employed:

CA = RT
A

By taking CA (Chronological Age) and dividing it by A (Activity) you will be given the correct RT or Relative Time.

For example, if you take a 2 year old child and divide it by their longing for more juice, even though the ‘actual’ time of fulfilling their desire is 33 seconds, their perception or ‘relative’ time equates to 12 minutes.
The equation works in the reverse as well when you take the a 36 year old parent trying to pacify a screaming 2 year old with more juice, the same 33 second activity will come out to a relative time of 23 agonizing minutes.

The above equation is equally accurate even as the chronological age of the individual advances as proven in the following examples:

14 year old male
Desire drive = Relative Time to receive license is 1 Eternity

36 year old female
2 weeks overdue with 4th child = Relative Time of pregnancy is 9 years

As rich as my research has been, I do admit a small blip in the Relative Time Continuum for subjects over the age of 60. It has been my experience that as one approaches this increasingly vital age, the less relative and more literal time seems to be.

Case in point, if you take a 63 year old grandmother and divide it by a day long ordeal of babysitting 3 grandchildren then the statement of “I’ll be there to pick the kids up ‘in a minute’” is taken as a literal 60 second period before said children are placed out on the curb for pick up.

This theory is also proven in the following equation:

63 year old male
Waiting for menu in restaurant after server declares “I’ll be back in a sec with your menu”

= You have literally 1 second before male walks out of restaurant in a huff declaring he will never return to this slap shod place with the crappy service again.